Roll International makes ‘The Perfect Promise’ with our clients and candidates.
Whether it is business or personal, have you ever pondered on meaningful, genuine, and lasting relationships in a busy complex world? The ones all engaging people desire? Have you asked yourself why so many relationships never really materialize, flounder, stall, or remain aloof? How do you make yourself and those around you the best version of themselves? What framework can you rely on when the sledding gets tough? How do you keep the ego in check and allow trust, and health relationship patterns and habits to evolve? Ideally, authentic relationships should began with solid pillars, expectations, and boundaries.
The Perfect Promise is a promise everyone typically wishes to mutually receive and make. At the core of the relationship is the promise to make the other person better. In its profoundest form, it is a covenant. Your union solely exists to grow each another. The principle building block is that each party makes a list of what they want the other person to promise to foster and nurture in themselves. Purely copasetic. It is a non-legally binding contract that is signed and dated by both parties. We should all be on a journey to become the best version of ourselves, and with The Perfect Promise, we are there for each other.
I promise to make you the best person you can be and you promise to make me the best person I can be.
We all have two “A’s” inside ourselves. On one side of the spectrum is the Architect, which builds. The other side is the Anarchist, the dysfunctional destroyer and chaos generator. The Perfect Promiser is strictly in the Architect camp and the Anarchist is completely rejected and suppressed. The Anarchist is tempted by cheap fast power and has no qualms about taking advantage of weaknesses and using people in a relationship. People in their world can become a vehicle, fuel, and are expendable. Motives matter. In time, most people feel the “why” when you do something. Your angle and approach must come from a deep conviction you have the other persons complete healthy and fair interests at heart… but never ever to the detriment of your own. Each person agrees to become part of a solution, not part of a problem. This is not an exercise of “kumbaya,” but an exquisite shift in intent and how we interact in a boldly constructive and accomplished relationship.
Each person’s conviction to the promise is a safe-harbor. It takes time, trust, respect, honesty, authenticity, unpretentiousness, accountability, enthusiasm, character, loyalty, expectance, solidarity, fairmindedness, and chivalry, and ultimately an enduring friendship with admiration, and devotion will emerge. You must believe in the esprit de corps system… the promise. Each interaction is rooted in wanting to build the other. Sometimes challenging and guiding each other. This isn’t just about communicating well, but to come from a sustainable flowing well-spring. Breaking bad relationship and communication habits and building good ones. The very existence of the relationship steams from the promise.
In life, you will realize that there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you, and some will teach you. But, the ones that are important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They’re the rare and amazing people who remind you why it’s worth it.
The promise establishes simple, clear and distinct expectations. The glue of the promise is to hold each other accountable for their promise to make each the best version of themselves. As humans it is inevitable people will pierce the promise vail. This is where straightforward “tough love” comes into play. No one is perfect, so there is what is called “re-does,” where if one party conducts themselves is a way the other perceives as unproductive, the supposed transgressor is made aware in a professional manner of their non-building approach and is given another chance to communicate and reproach the matter in a more constructive way. We are each committed to hold the other responsible for living up to the promise. You always have the other person’s promise to point to when the relationship experiences a hiccup.
There is nothing like the razor sharp tongue of a good friend to cut through the lies we tell ourselves. – Laura Moncur
Intentions are noble, but we are obligated to execute on a higher level. To act, perform and deliver results to the best of our ability. The emphasis is to do it naturally, not contrived or forced. It shouldn’t be a burden, but a privilege and an honor. The pledge also includes showing up for others, to govern yourself, and to help govern your community.
Every day, your goal should be to build something worthy of your existence.
This promise can be made with anyone; business or personal. Your co-worker, boss, neighbor, teammate, spouse, sibling, children, etc.
In dealing with international professionals, there is an illuminating thread when discussing cultural USA business relationship proclivities. In some circles, the general perception is that Americans tend to exercise “pretend friendliness.” In acquaintance meetings, Americans can go out of their way to exude graciousness that is above the normal level experienced and expected in their home country. It comes off as superficial and simulated, and not as ingratiating as it was intended. The Perfect Promise can aid in offsetting this issue.
As a final caveat, this promise should not and cannot be made with brash, intimidating, winner-take-all or dishonest personalities. It doesn’t fit their driven nature or the way they are wired to interact with others. All promisers must have the true capacity to keep the promise.